This is what I was wearing this evening when I was street harassed.
I had to pick my daughter up from school. I usually park in the school parking lot, but this evening a community event was going on in the auditorium so I had to park across the street.
I got out of my car and walked to the crosswalk and waited for the signal to cross. As I was waiting, a man was walking down the sidewalk in my direction. I didn’t pay him any mind as I was going over what I had to do that evening: Pick up a prescription, grab something for dinner, help Kiddo with her homework, start a load of laundry, etc.
He got closer to me and I thought he was going to pass behind me and keep on going. However, he stepped up next to me and touched his shoulder to mine. I stepped away.
“Heyyy, where you goin’?” he asked. I didn’t answer. I kept my eyes forward and didn’t acknowledge him.
“I asked you a question. Don’t be rude, sweetie. You got nice hair, you know?”
Now I am kinda scared. “Just leave me alone, please.” At this point, I am now checking to see if any cars are coming so I can make a dash toward the school parking lot.
He stepped closer, like he was going to touch shoulders with me again. That’s when I took my chance and ran. Once I made it into the school parking lot, I slowed down some but kept my pace pretty quick.
He yelled across the street, “HEY! YOU’RE A FUCKING BITCH, YOU KNOW THAT?!”
I didn’t look back, I just made a beeline for the front door of the building.
I got to the after-school care area and was visibly upset. I didn’t want to scare Kiddo, though. I put on a happy face, asked her how her day was and started signing her out. At this point, a father came in to pick up his daughter, who is a little older than my own. As we’re both waiting for our kids to get their things together I shyly approached him.
“Hey, um. I know this may sound weird but, would you mind if my daughter and I crossed the street with you? There was just a man outside and he invaded my personal space and was trying to touch me. I’m afraid he might still be out there.”
Thankfully, he understood. “Yeah, sure. No problem. Are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just kinda freaked out.”
“It’s ok. You can walk with us. You parked at the apartment complex?”
“Yeah.”
“So are we. Jeeze. You know, you should send an e-mail to the principal when you get home and let them know what happened. Describe the guy. That’s just awful. I mean, this is where we live, right? We’re a community, you know? We gotta look out for each other and the kids.”
“That’s a good idea. I’ll do that.”
So, I walked out with them and we made our way back. I didn’t see the guy around, but I felt better walking with another adult who seemed to genuinely care. As we got to our cars, the dad said if I ever felt nervous like that again that I could wait for him and he would gladly escort me to my car. He picks up his daughter around the same that I do. We had passed each other in the hall a few times.
“Thanks. Really, that helps a lot. Thank you.”
“No problem. I got a wife and 2 daughters. I wouldn’t want them to feel like this.”
I thanked him again.
But I’m still kind of freaked out, even now. I was just going to pick my kid up from school and this man made that normal, every day activity terrifying for me.
I’ve e-mailed the school about what happened and gave them a description of the guy. Hopefully, this is an isolated incident, but I know that I’m never again going to be able to cross that street without feeling nervous or constantly looking over my shoulder.
That’s what street harassment does. It turns your every day life, your every day, dull boring activities into something scary. It robs you of the ability to let your guard down, even when doing something as simple as waiting to cross the street. It goes beyond being rude. It goes beyond being momentarily scary. It changes the way you move in the world because you know now there is someone out there who doesn’t care about your right to just wait and cross the street without being made to feel unsafe.
(Source: lagertha-lodbrok, via little-veganite)
